"Nine" Review, in brief

“Nine” has all the sex appeal money can buy. Penelope Cruz, clad in lacy lingerie, stretches her long legs over her head; Fergie howls and growls while she rolls around on the beach wearing little more than a shawl; even Dame Judi Dench squeezes into a corset.

But “Nine” loses the depth of the Maury Yeston, Arthur Kopit musical on which the movie is based by using famous faces – and bodies – instead of capable voices.

While Daniel Day-Lewis gives a passionate performance as Guido Contini, a filmmaker and philanderer with a bad case of writer’s block, he speak-sings through the score’s difficult moments, whispering the anguished high notes in “I Can’t Make This Movie” and shortening held notes, an interruption to Yeston’s melody lines. As Guido’s mistress Carla, Cruz delivers “A Call from the Vatican” using similar disappointing techniques, though her recording includes a dazzling high C, which only the sound mixers know the authenticity of.

Still, at least their songs are integral to the story of a man fighting for his craft and his women. Kate Hudson, playing a Vogue writer and Contini fan, sings the bossa nova-style “Cinema Italiano,” a song created just for the movie. In addition to sounding like a karaoke performance, the song has no bearing on the plot. Another new song, the burlesque number “Take It All” performed by Guido’s wife Louisa, played by Marion Cotillard, feels weak. It replaces the stage show’s “Be on Your Own,” a powerful declaration that Louisa is finally leaving Guido. “Be on Your Own” frees Louisa from marriage; “Take It All” frees her from clothing.

Only Fergie’s gritty version of “Be Italian,” her voice full and lusty, burns with the passion of which she sings – and her over-the-shoulder glances during the song’s tambourine dance are smoldering. She combines the name-recognition, talent and sex appeal producers obviously felt they needed to sell the movie. But, if all the material had the strength of “Be Italian,” she and Day-Lewis could have done that without Cruz, Cotillard or – especially – Hudson.

Tim Burton at MoMA

From Edward Scissorhands to Jack Skellington, the characters in many of Tim Burton’s films reflect the alienation he felt as a child in suburban Burbank, California. The Burton exhibit on display at the Museum of Modern Art echoes this sense of isolation through its content – one set of drawings is titled “Little Dead Riding Hood”– and in its placement in the same building as Monet.

Red-and-white-striped monsters created by a film director that does not consider himself an artist by trade may seem out of place in MoMA. But Burton’s skill in several media – an oil painting of a wolf howling at the moon recalls the swirls of “Starry Night” and detail-oriented pencil drawings of the Martian brain look more like finished pieces than sketches – should convince visitors otherwise.

Unfortunately, curators Ron Magliozzi, Jenny He and Rajendra Roy undermine the respect a MoMA exhibit demonstrates with poor organization of the artwork. Burton’s work seems, at first, to be divided chronologically, though there is little direction for visitors looking for progression in his work. Placards with years and descriptors about the mostly untitled works, correspond only haphazardly to where the pieces actually hung on the wall, and the full walls overwhelm instead of welcome.

After several walls of morbidly funny drawings with hand-written captions like “Whipping a cow for whipped cream,” another room changes the exhibit’s focus from Burton, the artist to Burton, Hollywood phenomenon. A platform displaying movie props, like the white sweater from “Ed Wood,” is essential for Burton’s cult following, as are the sketches of characters from “Batman,” “Sweeney Todd” and others that hang on the surrounding walls. However, the awe they inspire diminishes the disclosure of Burton’s never-before-seen art – and the creations of the lonely boy from Burbank continue being ignored.

My holiday movie hopes...dashed

Did it ever occur to anyone to cast singers in the movie adaption of "Nine?" That is, instead of pretty, famous actresses who just speak and breathe through some really wonderful melodies. Maury Yeston - are you still alive and allowing this? Allowing a cohesive - if a bit indulgent - musical to be butchered for the screen is painful each and every time it is done, but "Nine," I fear, could be the worst.

I plan on seeing the film when it comes out Christmas Day. Based on the snippets I'm previewing on iTunes right now, I might have to cook a goose other than the famed Christmas goose. Cinema needs something more than live theater as it loses a keep sense-ual element, I understand that. But the dark, gritty shots and cheesy added numbers like "Take it All" and "Cinema Italiano" in place of the heart-felt "Simple" and the decadence of "Grand Canal" probably won't play well to an audience familiar with the source material.

Daniel Day Lewis seems to be in his element - but of course he is. The man chooses his movies so carefully, there was no doubt he would be great as Guido. As for, well...the rest of the cast, I will remain skeptical. I (potentially scathing) review will follow!

Rock Radio ignores day parts

Something about the Beach Boys makes me cry. Whether it be "Don't Worry Baby" or "God Only Knows," I'm all teary when I hear them. Play "Wouldn't It Be Nice" while a ship is going down, as in the new Philip Seymour Hoffman movie "Pirate Radio," and I'm a sopping mess for at least a few hours.

And that's the primary strength of the movie - the music. The songs are hung on a poorly developed story of pirate radio stations sitting in the North Sea in 1966, waiting to be made illegal by the British government (one of which is a formidable Kenneth Branaugh). There's a teenage boy looking to lose his virginity and accidentally comes across his hippie father, an over-sexed DJ named Big Dave and a wedding-that-wasn't, none of which is as compelling as hearing what radio jocks sounded like back then and jamming to The Who, The New Seekers and (as I mentioned) The Beach Boys. Murray from "Flight of the Concords" injects flashes of nut humor and Bill Nighy plays the exact same Brit he does in "Love Actually." The characters - besides Branaugh's dry role - give the movie spark.

I loved it so much, I decided to wear a dress with daises all over it today.

(Not really, but I did rock to some awesome tunes.)

Strangely enough, the class I TA for listened to a DJ from the '70s, I believe, the morning before I saw the movie. The same spirit of rebellion coursed through his words as did those of The Count (Hoffman). They - those behind the tunes spun before BOB FM and other pre-programmed stations - loved music and wanted to broadcast that personality with their favorite songs. I remember listening to the KISS 10 at 10 as a middle schooler; now I listen to my iTunes on shuffle all day. I don't miss the advertising, but I sometimes miss Janet Snyder in the morning. "Pirate Radio" makes me want to support stations again...but unless it's WERG 90.5, they probably don't play what I like anyway.

CGI Roadtrips and Colin Meloy

I travelled back to the TIFF with some friends to see the gala, North American preimere of "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnasuss." Tom Waits, Lily Cole, Andrew Garfield and Christopher Plummer (the sexiest octogenarian out there) were sitting the level below us at Roy Thompson Hall!

The movie was phenomenal and probably one of the best I have ever seen. It was so impressive, I will avoid spoilers and just urge you to see it when it arrives in theaters this holiday season. "Dr. Parnassus" is Heath Ledger's last movie and he died during the filming. The filmmakers, in addition to a number of Ledger's friends, continued the movie in startling fashion as a tribute to him. They do him justice.

"Dr. Parnassus" is the story of an immortal man, Plummer as Parnasuss, who has sold his soul to the devil (Waits). The conflict is that he has wagered his daughter (Cole). Ledger's character is there to help. The plot is great and compelling - but it's the visuals that make the movie. Vivid colors swirl, giant imaginary shoes rest on lily pads, glass shatters as Cole runs through oblivion.

The next night, I went to NYC to see a one-time-only Decemberists show at Terminal 5. The idea: List the entire Decemberists catalogue on giant ping pong balls, put them all in a bingo ball picker thing (does that have an actual name?) and choose them at random, surprising the band and the audience.

I'll be the first to admit it - as much as I love the Decemberists, I'm not a hard core fan. I have over 100 songs by Bright Eyes or Conor Oberst and only 40 by Colin Meloy and his crew. However, "The Crane Wife" and I have had many a road trip together and I dutifully bought "The Hazards of Love" the week it came out. I have "Picaresque" and a few other single songs, but truly, not an entire catalogue. That's one of the reasons I was looking forward to the show. I might learn some new tracks to pin point, get a new favorite besides "Crane Wife 3," "We Both Go Down Together" and "The Engine Driver." Sadly, they didn't play "The Engine Driver!"

The other reason I was looking forward to their innovative approach to the live show was...well..."Hazards of Love." I get it. It's a concept album. It needs to be played end to end, really - and that's what the Decemberists are doing on their tour, currently.

Except this show. Thankfully.

I could hardly believe the number of instruments the band played, much less how often they switched with each other: organ, accordion, steel pedal guitar, and some sort of keyboard that has a tube attached that the player blows into. Musically, they played better than they do on the record. Vocally, Colin Meloy sounds like he's at the top of his game - except for the very top notes.

Some of the set: "Yankee Bayonet," "Crane Wife 3," "The Rake's Song," and some awesome covers.

TIFF

Seven movies, three days, eight hours of driving, eight hours of sleep. I got back from the Toronto International Film Festival this morning at about 2 a.m. Here's an overview of what I saw:

Friday:

"Clean Flix" - A great documentary about companies, mostly based in the Mormon community, that edit films for violence, sex and other vulgarity. Apparently, their work is in huge demand. Hollywood directors sued many of the major producers for copyright issues (as they well should). The production was excellent - slick editing, fluid story line and real people used as characters of the story.

"How to Fold a Flag"- Another documentary about the Iraq war vets trying to get back to their real lives. Of course, my favorite thing about it was the Buffalo focus. Jon Powers, 2008 congressional hopeful in my district, was followed around as he campaigned. The other men followed, like Mike Goss, a cage fighter, had a bit harder time readjusting. Goss has suicidal tendencies; another was diagnosed with PTSD and lives in a shack down south. Some of the editing was sloppy, I thought, jumping from shot to shot. The flag theme was a bit heavy-handed for my taste, too. It seemed like every other shot was a flag waving in the wind somewhere in the country. Nonetheless, as a whole, the film really moved its audience. The content was heartbreaking and I heard sniffles through the whole thing, especially when they spoke to the mother of a solider that was killed. I thought it was a really appropriate way to spend 9/11.

Saturday:

"Jennifer's Body"- (Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried) It seemed like everyone in the theater thought this movie was hilarious, thrilling, sexy. Not me so much. Fox meets a band, fronted by Adam Brody wearing some ridiculous eyeliner, who turn her into a demon. From then on, she starts eating boys. The premise feels like a horror movie, and it is bloody. Seyfried ably plays Fox's best friend, a nerd with an adorable boyfriend. She tries to save the school from Fox while retaining her friendship. Diablo Cody, who also wrote "Juno," wrote the script, which was story-wise pretty strong. The dialogue, however, was a different story for me. I laughed at very few lines that my group laughed at, mostly because I felt like I was supposed to laugh - and I don't like to be directed toward the funny. Additionally, Ellen Page felt legitimately precocious in "Juno;" Fox's boobs are too big to take her seriously when she tries any word beyond two syllables. I recognize that it's not her fault that she has become such a pin-up, but it just didn't work for me. Also, the movie didn't feel entirely cohesive. Parts were comedy, parts pretty scary but instead of complementing each other, it felt like the sections felt disjointed. Sometimes, it even felt like Seyfried and Fox were acting in different movies - accept when they make out. And that was unnecessary pandering to the men in attendance.

"The Hole"- I would try to review this, but I never saw the end. The fire alarm went off and we were escorted out of the screening. For the most part, it was a typical, tame horror film: Boy is mad at world. He finds a hole of nothingness in his basement with his cute girlie neighbor. Scary stuff happens. But it was in 3-D! I love 3-D! Except when the director "plays with depth" (as they said in the intro of the movie) rather than throw stuff at the audience. Well, maybe "Avatar."

"The Disappearance of Alice Creed"- The movie, another thriller, was from a first-time British director. It's the story of a woman who is kidnapped by two men and what relationships unfold in that triangle. One of the kidnappers is in a love-situation with the woman kidnapped AND the other kidnapper, who is also a dude. The audience laughed when they started fervently kissing. I'm not sure how the director intended that to read, but it was more funny than concerning. It's entertaining, but it could have been tighter as far as time.

Sunday:

"Va, lhalla Rising"- About 40 minutes into the movie, I went to the bathroom. When I left, a bunch of Viking-age Christians were on a boat in the middle of a mist, unable to move and get to the Holy Land. When I came back, they still were on that boat in the mist. What else happened in the movie? Not much. A mute, one-eyed savage disemboweled, beheaded, and otherwise kicked the crap out of many people. He then had some followers. In between all that, he met some Christians and stood on a lot of mountainsides. I'm sure the movie meant something, but I dozed too often to want to think what ti was. However, despite its length and boring subject matter, it had resulted in many jokes. Funny where humor comes from.

"Chloe"- This was my favorite movie of the festival. That doesn't mean it was without flaws, but as far as production value and interest, this was the only one I didn't think about doing something else during. It's a cool story: I got out of "Valhalla Rising" with a fellow AJ and he and I walked many blocks to the theater "Chloe" was debuting in. He already had a ticket, so I got in the rush line and started chatting withe people around me. Another AJ walked by and told me she had a ticket, too. I expressed jealousy. We talked a few more minutes and a man approached us from the street and said to me, "Linda and I would like you to have this," and handed me a Priority-seating ticket to the "Chloe" premiere! Priority means that you can sit on the same level as the movie stars. "Chloe" stars Julianne Moore and Amanda Seyfried, and they were there. I was so excited, but decided to sit in the balcony with my common friends.

The movie was another thriller-type, disguised as a love-triangle film. It's a bit disturbing. Liam Neesen is also in it as Moore's husband, a flirt. She thinks he's cheating on her and hires a high-class prostitute (Seyfried) to test him. Then there's a twist, which I will not reveal, in case it comes to theaters. A warning for the especially moral and faint of heart: There's a lot of nudity and sex in the movie, which isn't my favorite thing to see, but it was pretty classy as far as you can be in those situations. In general, the film was well done, though my film-expert friend would disagree. I enjoyed it, in the context of the other films I saw, which were no where near as well produced and written.

As far as TIFF goes, it is a really good experience. I went in with only two tickets and ended up with seven pretty easily. I got up at 5:30 a.m. every day to wait in the box office line and rushed "Daybreakers" to no avail. I would definitely go again.

Adventuring

Since the weather has been so cool and not as summery as I would like - the new zebra-print bathing suit has only gotten use when I try it on and will the sun to come out - I have been watching a ton of movies. But, first thing's first.

Saw "Up" tonight. In a word, precious. More than once I asked myself why I don't see children's movies more often, especially ones with messages about over-development in places where there used to be neighborhoods and honoring the elderly. I smiled the whole way home. Something that really caught me, and usually doesn't, was the animation. I remember seeing "Toy Story" in theaters - I think that was before Disney acquired Pixar but I'm not positive about that - and I know for a fact that detail wasn't as in depth or specific. Heck, the little boy's cub scout-like badges had visible thread around the edges! It reminded me of when my brother was in the Boy Scouts (much more than my brief stint as a Brownie). The colors, especially of the balloons, were so vivid, too, I giggled like a 6 year old, pointing at them, probably to the embarrassment of my viewing companion. Though, I'm sure it embarrassed him more when I started sniffling over the love between two cartoon old people. 

The other thing "Up" offered me was a look into my past through a future film: "The Princess and the Frog." I've read about the movie somewhere because I guess it's a breakthrough as the leading lady will be the first Disney African-American Princess. Nice. What I'm excited about is that they are coming out with another princess movie! I grew up on Belle, Ariel and Cinderella (Malifacent in "Sleeping Beauty" scared me too much to watch it much) so adding another legitimate princess - I never really bought into Mulan - is exciting to girls like me. But it's not just us '90s kids that are going to reap the benefits, or have been. My boss at work has a 2-year-old daughter who loves the Disney princesses; they have reached audiences for over a decade and Disney has for 75 years. Talk about longevity. It's all really interesting though, because it seems natural to ask why people still find these fairy tales so enchanting, shall we say. I asked that very question in my senior thesis. But you'll have to drudge through 10 pages of literary theory, a counterpoint, to get there. However, if you want to know, I'll drag it out for you :)

I also saw "Knowing" at the cheap theaters about a week ago. I thought the whole idea was scary even thought my mom, who saw it when it was $9.50 a ticket, did not. I wondered, after talking to her about it, if i missed something, or mistook something. The idea, to me, that someone knew the day "everyone else" was going to die, is terrifying. First, that a prophet would exist among us, and second, that the day could be arriving.  But I'm not talking religion here, I'm talking Nicholas Cage. He plays a tormented man well and while "Ghost Rider" was a misstep, I'll always love him for "Moonstruck."

My intelligent friend and I rented "Rachel Getting Married" this weekend, too. Well, Anne Hathaway went from "The Princess Diaries" to "The Rehab Diaries" in just a few short years. That's nice. While I felt the movie had a few unnecessary scenes - like the many-minute long dance sequence at the end, yawn - it mimicked life. Though I don't know if driving the plot was the director/writer's intention - and if I want to get picky, I could say the creator's intention doesn't matter anyway - it did capture the complexity of familial hatred and love, the entanglement of resentment with loyalty and the internal chaos that manifests in relationships when it festers over a long period of time. It was very realistic, to say the least, and Hathaway probably deserved that Oscar nod. (But, I saw "The Reader" and, performance-wise, Kate Winslet deserved that one).

Can I also give a shout-out to "Tootsie?" and "Something Wicked This Way Comes?" The first is a favorite. Dustin Hoffman, who's recent sorry-soaked "Last Chance Harvey" was great, when he plays his roles true (See: Meet the Fockers. Unecessary.), is truly excellent. The second, another Disney film, I thought was actually pretty scary for a kids movie. As for "City Slickers," one of my top 10 movies I'd say, it's gets better every time I see it. I particularly enjoyed Daniel Stern this go-round. I'll never really like Bruno Kirby, RIP.

And so, I'll leave with my favorite quote from "Up," spoken by dejected dog Dug:

"I hid under your porch because I love you."

See it. With a little one :)